I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
