Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
