that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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