he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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