he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
