he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
