plz talk dirty to me
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
