what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
