Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize
