she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
