if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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