and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I think I sprained my soul last night
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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