I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
