if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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