She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
