im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
