College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize