absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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