My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
