thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
