i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
