Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
That was before I lit my hair on fire
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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