You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
