We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize