what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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