Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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