maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
