As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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