Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
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He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
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Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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