i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Someone signed my nipple.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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