we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
