Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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