He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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