help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
