Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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