ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
