grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
