I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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