Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
