I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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