Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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