No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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