it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
