he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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