After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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