my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
