i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
soo... how was my night?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
