matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
