Sry I called you an 8
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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