I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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