I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
