Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I think I won the penis lottery.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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