dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
