I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
