you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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