It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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