I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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