so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize
