come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize
