We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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