doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
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I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
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Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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