Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
how do flat chested girls get laid?
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In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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