so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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