so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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