Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
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