In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
