Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
