So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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