You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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