So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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