He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I CAN MOONWALK!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
